Reliving a particularly mortifying high school incident on the way home from work a few weeks ago quickly became an out-loud monologue overheard by a few startled Ottawans, trying very hard to avert my gaze.

Which, of course, made me mortified.

(But less than you’d think.)

“Hochelagea!” I cried, unprompted, taking shelter in the shadow of a stone something or other, causing Darcy to turns circles, trying to identify the source of the word. No, I had not read it anywhere, I explained, I just had to say it out loud.

See?

Now, the root of all spontaneous dialogues – whether full sentences or not – are always obscure, fleeting ideas that evolve, rather on their own, whenever my brain is not utterly focused. I’m too old-fashioned to have ADD; this is NOT prescriptive. It’s just Hochelagea, and other things I learned in high school.

Which is all to say that while my OWN high school experience would probably make for the juiciest, wince-worthy content I ever did focus on long enough to write about, that same mildly-addled brain has been returning to an exercise first attempted in a gaudily-tiled classroom poorly disguised by annual whitewashing, and hormonal insecurity.

It will require some focus.

I have got to stop gushing about this woman, and I feel I must disclose that I sent an email to her last week – humiliating, gushing, ridiculous, hellnonotpostingit — because I simply couldn’t bear to EXIST any longer without expressing how UNBELIEVABLY JEALOUS I am that a company has decided to sponsor her Life List.

She didn’t reply.

But then! My brain! Was thinking! Specifically, it thought that if this TOTAL STRANGER managed to inspire me to action manifest in lame email in which I might have told her I am irrationally jealous in a borderline stalker way, then maaaaybe it could inspire something. You know. Productive.

Like updating my OWN high school life list.

Because I believe it could be the start of something.

Hopefully something like this.

Some other things:

1)  Does good, cheap, shampoo and conditioner exist? And if it DOES exist, does it have feelings? This stuff is not working. 2)  Have you seen this? You should see this.  3)  Emma Watson at the Burberry event was stunning. In fact, her ad campaign for Burberry’s trenches is, too.  4)  I don’t know why, but I might love this girl.  I definitely love her shoes.  5)  Hochelagea!